How important is foreplay to a great sex life?
Busy life? Only have time for “quickies” with your significant other? We understand as all our lives are busy, but we also know that while there is a benefit to having those quick intimate moments, there is also a need for more. Any committed romantic relationship requires more than just the physical act of having sex to grow and strengthen the relationship. There must be an emotional bond as well, and skipping foreplay all the time can actually hurt your relationship.
Foreplay is a great way for you and your partner to get both physically and emotionally ready for sex. Experts agree when asked how important is foreplay, that it is a vital part of having a healthy sex life with your partner. In fact, a recent Australian study found more women to be aroused by the idea of foreplay than sex itself.
If your relationship lacks foreplay, here are reasons why you should bring it back to the bedroom and with some tips on how to get friskier sooner.
How Important is Foreplay for Better Sex?
“Foreplay is crucial for good sex. It’s not just an old wives’ tale that foreplay is something that people should spend more time doing,” says Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPH, associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University, in Bloomington.
“When a woman’s body becomes aroused, the muscles actually pull the uterus up a little bit, and it makes more room in the vagina,” says Dr. Herbenick. This process, called vaginal tenting, creates more space, which makes sex more comfortable and more pleasurable. “If this doesn’t happen, sex can become more uncomfortable,” she says.
As we mature our hormones no longer are raging like when we were teenagers. The stress we’re under on a daily basis, our schedules and responsibilities all play factors in suppressing our libido. Foreplay helps both men and women to turn their focus on either other and become aroused.
For women, becoming sexually aroused helps them to lubricate. This in turn can help a man achieve and keep his erection. For women having troubles with lubrication, many have turned to Alura Lux which increases the sensitivity of the clitoris, thus increasing natural lubrication. Working this into foreplay is simple as it is a topical, water-based cream.
Foreplay helps couples to feel closer and more intimate. Through all the actions a couple can do during foreplay a couple will feel more aroused and excited. The build-up and anticipation of having sex have physiological factors, but emotionally, it greatly improves the intimate bond the couple shares. Kissing is an important part of foreplay as it helps to stimulate all the physical and emotional responses.
Just as you and your partner are unique individuals, so too is what method of foreplay works best. You don’t have to spend hours cuddling, stroking and kissing each other before you have sex. Some couples can’t resist each other after only a few minutes of foreplay while others enjoy foreplay so much they prolong it, building anticipation and excitement.
“Foreplay should last at least 10 minutes to give people’s bodies enough time to warm up,” Herbenick suggests. What’s important is to “focus on the stomach and inner thighs and breasts and kissing, but not to dive in too quickly to the genitals,” says Herbenick.
Ready to have great sex because of foreplay? Here are some suggestions you can use:
- Games are great ways to turn engage and arouse each other at the same time. You can use cards, dice or even specific sex games that offer ways you can stimulate each other.
- Talking dirty to each other allows each couple to express their desires. Communication of your likes is an important factor in your satisfaction and expressing your likes to your partner will let them know just how and what you like.
- Start with activities that involve touch and closeness, such as dancing. Hold each other close, move together and enjoy.
- Massages are great ways for couples to unwind from a busy day and connect with each other. The use of massage oil and flavoured products start foreplay through the continuous touching of each other’s bodies. For areas such as the feet, ears and hands, there are numerous nerve endings that stimulate other parts of the body.
- Caressing and touching each other can start even before you are in an area to have sex. Holding hands, running your fingers through your partner’s hair all start the act of being close and intimate. Whatever feels good for you or your partner works.
Best Type of Foreplay
Communication plays a major role throughout a relationship. The same holds true for what foreplay works best for you and your partner. “People don’t spend enough time just talking to each other when they’re not having sex,” says Herbenick. Don’t be afraid to ask your partner what they like and how they want to be touched, kissed and caressed. The catch here is to do it outside the bedroom so when you are in the act you know what they like.
“Getting very specific information about how they want their bodies touched when they’re in foreplay is very helpful, but it’s easier to have those conversations when you’re not about to have sex,” says Herbenick.
Foreplay can help keep partners connected physically and emotionally, and make for even better sex. Foreplay should help you both be more comfortable and get more pleasure out of sex, so figure out what’s the most fun and effective foreplay in your bedroom.
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