With another weekend behind us, many people are reluctantly heading off to work, while they recap the events of the weekend. Did we get all the tasks completed we wanted, can you believe what happened at the party on Saturday and for many, they are wondering why sex was yet again boring and routine.
When you think about sex with your partner it should bring a smile to your face, not an expression of “it was well . . . OK.” To help you eliminate this from happening we have rounded up our experts, gathered their advice, and put together a list. A list that will allow you to put the zest and heat back into your sex life and help you have intense, amazing and better orgasms. So whether the sex is just not doing it for you, or you want the moments to last longer, this list of 12 sex secrets will be worth the read to get you what you want, enjoy!
Better Orgasms with These 12 Sex Secrets
Hit the Hot Spots
The simple mechanics of intercourse for most women will not bring them to orgasm. However, with some slight position changes, you can ensure your hot spots are being properly stimulated. While having sex, being on top is a great way to ensure your clitoris is being stimulated. Position yourself so your clitoris is rubbing directly on your partner’s pubic bone. When in the Missionary position, make a small addition by placing a pillow under your butt to help change the angle of entry, this time helping to stimulate your clitoris and G-spot.
Talk the Talk
“Men really want direction,” says Laura Berman, Ph.D., assistant clinical professor of psychiatry and OB-GYN at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University. Let your partner know when he’s on the right track, either by telling him what feels great or by moaning. There is nothing wrong with taking control of the moment and getting exactly what you want.
Being Self Taught
You can’t talk the talk if you don’t know what turns you on. “To train your body to be orgasmic, you have to masturbate,” says Danielle Cavallucci, a sex coach with sex information company Sexuality Source. Masturbation should not be thought of in the stereotypical way as something frowned upon. Until you know exactly what you like and what feels best, your partner will not be able to provide you with the stimulation needed for better orgasms.
Understanding and learning your body through masturbation provides you with the knowledge of what feels great. Focus on your with some alone time.
Keep Your Orgasm Muscles in Shape
“Kegels are the classic exercise for women who want to transform feeble orgasms into fabulous ones,” sex educator Dorian Solot says. Locate these muscles in your pelvic floor by stopping yourself from peeing midstream. Then tone them by clenching when you’re not peeing. Do Kegels every day, ideally a few times a day, and keep breathing while you squeeze.
While some may attempt to have sex in locations that run a high risk of getting caught, you don’t have to go to those extremes to increase your ability to have an orgasm. Research shows simply increasing your adventurous side in your relationship with your partner, whether it’s rock climbing or seeing a scary movie together, stimulates dopamine in the brain. Dopamine is one of the “feel good” hormones and helps get your juices flowing.
Delay Your Orgasm for Better Orgasms
“The longer the arousal buildup, the bigger the explosion,” Solot says. Get yourself close to orgasm, then slow to a simmer. Repeat that a few times before you climax. Continuing the process for both you and your partner provides you with a greater chance of experiencing simultaneous orgasms.
Focus on Your Breathing
Tantric sex may sound new-agey, but its central tenet—focused breathing—may boost your pleasure. “You can use your breath to channel your sexual energy,” sex educator Yvonne Fulbright says. Partners who breathe in tandem may slow the rush to orgasm and create a bigger buildup, which can intensify pleasure.
Enjoy Erotica Together
While watching is porn is usually related to turning men on, watching some tasteful erotica can help to stimulate both of you. There are also books and stories that can be used in a creative way to help stimulate your arousal and set the tone.
Be Creative with Your Foreplay
Foreplay is a must for most women. On average it takes a woman 10-15 minutes to become sexually aroused. So why not start foreplay before you and your partner are even in the same room? Flirty and suggestive texting is a great way for you and your partner to start getting in the mood.
Let him know what you are going to do to him when you get him alone. The process of thinking about sex starts your body in motion. As you fantasize you, in essence, are starting to stimulate yourself through your visualizations.
Check Your Medications
There are many side effects of the medications we take. Everything from birth control to antidepressants, all have an effect on our sex life and our ability to orgasm. Whenever dealing with your medications do not “trial and error” to see what works best for you, always talk to your doctor about your medications. Let them know the issues you are having and they will be able to get you on the right medications.
Ask for Help
If you’re not orgasmic, advice from a pro may be helpful. Nerve damage or low testosterone could be the problem. “Your doctor can do a medical evaluation,” Berman says, “or look at relationship factors.”
To find a sex therapist, check with the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists at aasect.org, or a similar organization if you are not in the United States.
Relax and Enjoy the Moment
Last and certainly not least on our list of ways to better orgasms is to relax.
In a recent French study of 500-plus women, more than 70% said work stress compromised their sex drive. In addition, a low libido also added to their lowered chances of experiencing an orgasm. So ditch life’s distractions at your bedroom door, and to increase your libido by using a product like Alura Lux, which is clinically proven to increase a woman’s libido.
Once your libido is ramped up, if you are still having issues with your day to day stresses, as part of your foreplay you can give each other erotic massages. This will help both of you to relax into the moment, melt away the daily stresses and turn each on. The continuous sensual touching stimulates our body’s largest organ, our skin, and steps up the arousal. Enjoy each other and enjoy the amazing orgasms!