What makes sex great? Is it the way it feels before during and after? Maybe it’s the climax, the Big O. When determining if sex was good, great or indifferent, can the quality of sex be solely based on orgasms? The answer to that question thankfully is no, but there is a discussion that has to happen regarding orgasms, and what and how they fit in to having sex.
There are many things that make lovemaking great, but all too often too much emphasis is placed on orgasms, specifically female orgasms, while neglecting other vital areas. The all-mighty orgasm and what it means to great sex has generated many myths regarding female orgasms, why a woman isn’t having them and her diminished sexual satisfaction and pleasure from sex. These myths have been known to cause problems for women and their partners. That is why we have compiled a list of common myths and the real facts about female orgasms.
If she is unable to reach orgasm, or the orgasm isn’t an earth-moving experience and there is something wrong with a woman.
Women can reach a peak of arousal, not have an orgasms and still feel very relaxed and contented after sex. This satisfied feeling is the same as women who do experience orgasms.
“Normal” women reach orgasm through intercourse.
Only about one third of women experience an orgasm regularly during intercourse. A third can reach orgasm with intercourse but need extra stimulation. The final third never achieve orgasm during intercourse but can climax by manual and/or oral stimulation. Having orgasms by means other than intercourse is a normal variation of female sexuality. An old myth was that “mature” women had their orgasms with intercourse while in fact how a woman reaches an orgasm is not relevant. Laboratory studies in the 1960’s showed that an orgasm is an orgasm no matter which way you obtain it. How a woman reaches an orgasm has nothing to do with her mental health or emotional maturity.
The inability of a woman to reach an orgasm means she is “frigid” or that there is something seriously wrong with her or her relationship.
Women who were able to have orgasms in the past but can no longer do so may be suffering from a medical problem, such as anorgasmia or may be experiencing side effects from medication they are taking.
Women who have never had an orgasm may never have learned what type and duration of stimulation they need.
A woman’s partner is not a skillful lover if a she can not reach orgasm.
While there are many ways a loving partner can help a woman reach orgasm, in the end, a woman is responsible for her own sexual pleasure. Communication plays a major role in letting her partner know what her likes and dislikes are. Expressing what increases her arousal eliminates assumptions and ensures she is getting what feels best for her.
A woman has to have an orgasm in order to enjoy sex. This myth seems to be more common among men than among women.
Many women enjoy the emotional connection and closeness, along with the physical intimacy of sex. They are satisfied even if they do not, or do not always have an orgasm. Long term relationships are much more than just sex. When a relationship is connected on all levels emotionally, the physical connection is always enhanced.
Understanding the truth about female orgasms will stop you from acting or thinking in a way that could actually be harming your relationship. Take this knowledge and foster and strengthen your connection with your partner today.
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