When it comes to revealing the secrets to great a sex life together, there are many factors you can look at. However, through our experience and from the countless numbers of couples we have helped, the true happiness comes as you work together with your partner. Using this philosophy allows you to take good sex and make it amazing.
In addition to this you must understand that like you, every relationship is unique. Each individual in the relationship will bring their personality, their likes/dislikes and their beliefs into the union. From this, the relationship takes on a life and identity of its own so what may work for you, might not for you best friend and vice versa.
With that in mind let’s reveal the top sex secrets everyone should know about having great sex.
Start Talking About Sex
“Ironically, some of the best sex secrets are those men and women keep from each other,” says Dr. Paul Joannides PsyD, a research psychoanalyst in Waldport, Ore., and author of The Guide to Getting It On. To have good sex, you need to talk about your likes and dislikes.
“One of the most important things to do is to ask and to listen,” says Joannides. “A lot of guys are terrified that some people may think they don’t know all the answers. Also, some guys think they do know all the answers.”
While talking about sex can be a difficult topic to broach, the benefit far outweighs the anxiety it may evoke. Discussing this with your partner at a time that you are not having sex will help both of you understand what is working.
Don’t Make Things Uncomfortable
Asking your partner what they like or don’t like while having sex can not only make things awkward, it can also spoil the mood. Having your partner focus on their dislikes while having sex can put a negative spin on things. Pay attention to your partner’s body language and their breathing to get clues about what they like and if you must ask them, ask in a positive way, such as what feels best.
Change it Up
You both can explore and learn what each other likes effectively without having to even speak a word. This can be accomplished by switching roles. For example, let her show you what she likes rather than tell you. “A really good thing to do is to say, ‘Let’s switch places here. I’d like you to kiss my chest just the way you’d like me to kiss yours,'” Joannides says. “Sit back and learn.”
Communication between you and your partner is paramount in all aspects of your relationship. When it comes to sex it’s no different. It has to be a two-way street so don’t forget to let your partner know what your likes and dislikes are too.
Use Study Aides
“Try to get a book or two or three or four that you think your partner might enjoy,” Joannides says. “Look through it with your partner and see what they may be interested in. Sometimes it’s easier that way because someone might not be comfortable telling you what they want to do, but they may see a photo and say, ‘Hey, that looks interesting.’
Share Your Fantasies
Remember your brain is the most important sex organ in your body. Keep things fun and playful by talking over your fantasies with your partner. Don’t feel like you should rid your mind of fantasies during sex — experts consider these fantasies an important way to kindle the desire that leads to arousal, pleasure and ultimately orgasm.
Try having sex in different places and at different times. Be playful and try out different positions. “Don’t just do the same thing every night, every time,” says Joannides. “It’s easy to get into a rut and be predictable. Sometimes with certain things, predictability is good, and other times it isn’t. It’s a wise individual who learns which is which.”
Keep Porn Online
“Sometimes guys feel that what a woman wants is for them to be porn stars,” Joannides notes. “That’s probably one of the worst models for lovemaking you could ever have. It’s trying to live your life like you were a character on Star Trek. It’s a nice fantasy to watch. It wouldn’t work if you tried to act it out in real life.”
Exercise has been shown to improve your sex life. For example, aerobic exercise improves blood flow, which is important in achieving an erection. It also can improve your sexual stamina and strength.
As always we appreciate all your emails and comments and don’t forget to share this information with your friends so they can enjoy better sex and an enhanced relationship. Share these sex secrets with them.