Hectic schedules, stressful lives and the routine of getting through your day can lead to life seeming robotic and mundane, let alone have an active sex life. All too often these feelings transfer in our relationships. For those in long term relationships, these day-to-day routines make the lustful days of when you first fell in love with a distant memory.
Thankfully there are many ways you can liven up your relationship and spice up your sex life. Here are some simple ways that you can rekindle the romance in your relationship and spice up your sex life.
Maintain a Sexual Connection with Your Partner
We know that your life is busy; whether it’s working all day or raising a family, you may find you start seeing your lover as merely a partner to get the help you need to get through the day. Your schedules have you so busy and consequently tired at the end of the day, you merely crash into bed every night.
Change how you see each other by staying connected sexually. There are many ways couples can stay sexually connected outside the bedroom and it can happen even when you are not physically together.
You can send sexy and lustful text messages to each other throughout the day to let your partner know what’s on your mind and how you feel. When you are in the same space, be physically bolder with more affection. Instead of the simple peck on the cheek before leaving for work, a nice lustful kiss can leave you both wanting more.
Create a Sexual Space to Arouse Your Senses
Our senses play a vital role in our arousal and how we are feeling. Knowing this you can use it to your advantage and create an environment that appeals to each of your five senses, maximizing your sensual experience.
Sight: Soft lightning and candlelight, in particular, can be very romantic and can cast exciting shadows in a room. Think about colours that excite you. Try swapping the bed linen for something sexy
Sound: Playing music can help to get you in the mood. Think about what kind of music makes you feel sexy, or calm and chilled.
Smell: Your partner’s favourite scent or favourite aromatherapy oil can get your pulse racing. Lavender aids relaxation, ylang-ylang can boost sensuality, or choose sandalwood to boost your sexual energy.
Taste: The link between food and sexual desire is well known. Foods that are said to contain aphrodisiac properties include strawberries, asparagus, chocolate, oysters, saffron and lettuce.
Touch: Your skin is the biggest sensory organ you have, yet it’s often forgotten about. Interesting textures such as silk, fur, feather and satin can help you rekindle a passion for touch and feel.
Change the Rules in Your Sex Life
Again we are creatures of habit. In our relationships and especially with sex, we will gravitate to things we like. We will develop our go-to positions to techniques because they feel good, but over time the sensations they provide become routine and lose their appeal. To eliminate this, change the rules, change how you have sex. This starts with how you initiate having sex because how you start will affect how you have sex.
Here are some different ways you can use to initiate sex:
Romantic and Tender: This could start with a romantic supper, or massage, or any gesture which says ‘I love you’.
Brazen and Bold: Try a sexy, direct statement or physical come-on which is straight to the point and says ‘I want you’.
Urgent and Frenzied: The tempo is quickly upped after the usual hug and kiss
Daring and Erotic: Turn up the volume by dressing sexily or performing a strip-tease for your partner.
Try altering time, place and technique to further beat the bedroom boredom.
Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
We fallback to routine because they offer us comfort and security. When we partake in activities outside our comfort zone, we can become anxious, stressed, but at the same time can also be exhilarating and fun.
Playing out fantasies is a great way to step outside your comfort zone. In addition to breaking the routines, this will also expand your repertoire. Be sure to discuss this with your partner before acting out the fantasies as surprises in the bedroom are not usually well-received. Make sure you and your partner are both comfortable with the idea.
If playing our fantasies does not interest you, you can always play adult games, introduce props such as blindfolds, and even use toys. There is no limit to what you can and can’t do and many couples are shocked by how much their sex life changes by the addition of the smallest simple change.
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