There is no question there’s a difference in expectations between men and women when it comes to sex. For most men, they simply want to get it on. Most women, on the other hand, want and in many cases need, some foreplay before the main event. So what can be done to bridge the gap and ensure both sexes are happy, properly aroused and in the end satisfied?

Some form of foreplay is essential before any penetration. Very simply put if a woman is not sexually aroused and is not properly lubricated, sex can be uncomfortable if not painful. To ensure no one gets hurt, here are five ideas to extend foreplay and bring both parties to new heights of sexual arousal.

Enjoy Foreplay All Day

There is no rule foreplay has to be immediately before you have sex. With this in mind allow your thoughts to think about sex all day long building the erotic tension throughout the day. Daydreaming about what you want your lover to do to you or vice versa gets your mind and body ready. The more detail you bring into your thoughts the better, and when you do finally see your lover at the end of the day, your arousal which started hours earlier will kick into high gear.

By starting foreplay in your imagination you will accomplish two things. First, as we said you will start the arousal process well before you are with your partner and secondly you will be clear on what you are craving; tender, gentle lovemaking or rougher more passionate sex. Simply put, let your erotic imagination lead the way.

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Have an Erotic Massage

Transitioning from a stressful, busy day at work to a sex god or goddess can be extremely difficult. One very simple and connecting way for you and your partner to get in the mood is to give each other massages. Not only will this help to relax and de-stress you, but you will also reconnect to the sensations of your body being touched and your partner.

There are massages to relieve stress and then there are massages to get both of you in the mood.

Take Control in Bed

Is your lover always in a rush to get to intercourse? If this is the case take control and slow things down. Ask them to relax on the bed while you spend time lavishing their body with slow touches and kisses. When they try to touch you, slap their hand away to let them know you are in complete control.

To increase the eroticism, have them flip over and lay face down while you nibble at their shoulders and neck. Be sure to let them feel your body pressing up against theirs with your weight pinning them down. Continue to slowly build the anticipation and only allow your lover to touch you when their desire has become urgent, throbbing and immediate.

Speak Up and Ask for It

Most lovers are willing to serve their partners and satisfy them, but in many cases, they get stuck on what to do. Don’t be shy about being specific about what you want during foreplay. You may be surprised how willing your partner is to deliver your requests. Simply take the time to be clear on what your body is craving. Receiving direct requests from your lover can be incredibly hot. Try to cultivate a relationship where you can both make requests for what you are craving so you can better serve one another.

Teasing is Allowed

Foreplay doesn’t have to stop once arousal builds. Keep it going by teasing your lover, allowing their desire to build and build until it can barely be contained. Many men rush towards intercourse because they don’t trust their ability to stay hard and sustain their pleasure. For men, a great handjob can be a delicious way to learn how to stay suspended in arousal without climaxing.

For women, the same can be accomplished with clitoral stimulation. This can be accomplished simultaneously or even taking turns. Getting each other both on the brink of an orgasm not only drives your arousal through the roof, but it also makes the release of when you finally do orgasm unbelievable.