Studies abound, researchers to this day continue delving into the meaning of a passionate kiss. There is no disputing the importance of kissing in your relationship, whether it’s rating the potential of your partner as a mate, or purely for sexual arousal, understanding how to kiss only strengthens your relationship.
How to Have More Passionate Kisses
“It fosters romantic compatibility,” says Michael Christian, author of The Art of Kissing (published under the pen name William Cane). “The more that people kiss, the more they’re able to communicate on a romantic level.”
Talk About It
As with sex, many couples hesitate to discuss physical issues in their relationship with their partners. Whether its shyness, embarrassment or thinking they will offend their partner, speaking up about your likes makes the act of kissing more enjoyable for both parties.
If something is missing or if you want to know what your partner prefers, talk about it, just don’t do it while you are physically in the act of kissing. This may surprise or offend your partner. As with everything, there is always a suitable time to discuss this.
We all have our preferences, what turns us on and conversely our pet peeves when it comes to kissing styles. So what are you or your partner doing which could be incompatible with each other?
Christian says men’s biggest mistake is that they’re too aggressive with their tongues. And men claim that women don’t open their mouths wide enough.
For both sexes, the number one kissing complaint is lack of variety, Christian says. He recommends kissing the different parts of your partner’s face and paying special attention to the ears and neck. He suggests biting softly on the lower lip and nibbling gently on the earlobe.
Memories Last a Lifetime
Making your kisses memorable form a bond between you and your partner like no other. The intimacy of a kiss lasts a lifetime.
Kirkland Desmond, a software engineer in Tampa, Fla., vividly recalls his first kiss with his wife a decade ago. They were sitting on the couch in her dad’s living room, and as he leaned over to kiss her, he lost his balance and fell off the couch, pulling her down with him.
“I was so nervous because she was completely out of my league,” he says. “So our first kiss happened while we were laughing, and 10 years and three beautiful children later, we’re still laughing and kissing every chance we get.”
Having a funny story or memory about your first kiss is great but what can you do to make the kisses memorable? Keep it simple and aim to please your partner and yourself.
“Put your whole body into the kiss,” says Marilyn Anderson, author of Never Kiss a Frog: A Girl’s Guide to Creatures from the Dating Swamp. “Without words, your lips should say, ‘Baby, there’s more where that came from!’ There are ways to keep it fresh and new all the time.”
She suggests starting with gentle kisses on the neck, moves up to the ear, then goes to the lips. Take some small breaks and then come back to the lips.
Besides, never lead a kiss with a preconceived notion of what may happen next. If you start with this in mind, it will be apparent in your actions as you are kissing. Always enjoy the kiss for the kiss.
Getting completely enveloped in the kiss, share your passion with your partner and show them. This can be accomplished simply by placing your hand on your partner’s neck while kissing.
“A good kiss is deep and soulful and you should feel each other’s love through the kiss,” says Dan Landau, a graduate student in Bridgewater, N.J. “A great kiss is an adventure in itself, not a stepping point to something else.”
Keep the Flame Burning with Kissing
In the early moments of any romantic relationship, steamy make-out sessions are commonplace. As the relationship matures and grows, all too often the frequency of passionate kissing is reduced, in some cases completely. Without having this intimate connection regularly, it can have long-lasting effects on the relationship. In a Redbook poll, 79% of women said they don’t kiss their husbands nearly as much as they’d like.
“You’ve got to keep kissing in the game,” Anderson says. “The emotional importance of a kiss is where it all begins and you shouldn’t let it go just because you’ve known someone for a long time.”
Just as wine gets better with time, so does can a relationship, especially one filled with loving kisses and intimacy. By keeping the love alive with passionate kisses, you and your partner continually strengthen the bond you have. Many couples say where there was once a spark there are now fireworks and it all started with a kiss.