It’s hard to imagine that there was once a time when it was thought women did not have orgasms, which then was altered to say what women experienced was much different than men. Thankfully as medicine advanced and our knowledge of anatomy, we know that women definitely have all the equipment required to not only have orgasms but to enjoy them!
Unfortunately, there are many women who do not get this enjoyment. Statistics estimate that about 30 percent of women, that’s 1 in 3, have some difficulty reaching and experiencing an orgasm.
As you can imagine there are many factors coming into play regarding a woman’s ability to have an orgasm and understanding what they are is the first step in experiencing them more frequently. So whether you are a woman who is looking to improve your sexual experience or you are a guy looking to help your lady experience them as much as you, we can help.
The Mysterious Workings of the Female Orgasm
While there is no manual that will explicitly detail what to do to help a woman achieve an orgasm for every woman is unique, there are starting points. The most common starting point is under the hood (pun intended) and that is clitoral stimulation. This is the most common way women reach orgasm, although others orgasm from stimulation of their G-spot, nipples or even less obvious erogenous zones such as earlobes or neck.
When a woman has an orgasm it is a full-body event. There are rhythmic muscle contractions in and around the vagina, the heart rate increases, breathing patterns change, blood pressure increases and even changes over a woman’s skin occur such as flushed, rosy skin. Many sex studies have shown when a woman climaxes it activates almost every portion of the brain, hence the term mind-blowing sex.
Uncovering the Secret to Female Orgasms
Before going any further, you must know your own body. If you are having any sort of health problems, this can definitely impede your ability to have an orgasm. So if more than just your sex life is feeling off, please take the time to visit your doctor.
Assuming that there are no medical issues occurring within your body, knowing your body still holds the truth to your orgasms. Knowing what you like, or in the case of a guy what you lady likes is a learning process and is unique.
Be Prepared for the Show
“I’m too tired” is used so frequently as an excuse for not having sex that it’s become cliché. There is no doubt there is truth to that statement, in fact, 33 percent of women in the U.S. report being too tired for sex. Think about any other activity you partake in; when you are tired or lacking rest, how is your performance? The same thing holds true for sex. With lack of sleep, your body has additional stress and all it wants is the ability to finish the deed and fall asleep.
By getting seven or more hours of sleep a night will increase your youthfulness and physical vigour, while sleepless nights does the opposite. In fact, restless nights can actually reduce attractiveness by 4 percent and elevates cortisol, a stress hormone, by 33 percent. All of this leads to more frustration, irritability and unhappiness.
While sex is a great stress reducer and sleep aid, in order to truly enjoy it, you need to be well-rested. There is no shame in ensuring that you and your partner are well-rested. Make sure sleep is a priority so both you and your partner are feeling energetic and great sex will follow.
Take Your Time
Commonly couples who have busy schedules will attempt to squeeze sex into their day. This time constraint alone can be an orgasm killer, especially for women. This is also an example of stark contrast to how different men and women are regarding orgasms.
Men can rush to the orgasmic finish line, where many women can’t. For most women, the average time of suitable stimulation required for orgasm is 20 minutes. For men that may seem like a long time and for some women that can seem like an eternity, especially when they spend it worrying. Worrying about their body’s appearance, their sexual abilities, if their partner is getting bored or even what they still have to do next on their schedule.
The differences in a woman’s anatomy and how it works means that it will take more time to reach an orgasm, plain and simple. Ladies do not feel pressure to climax quickly, this is the way your body functions and guys, be patient with your lady, you can’t hurry love.
Worrying about the time it is taking is not the only worry on many women’s minds, their bodies and their relationship can also inhibit their orgasms. There is a direct relationship between a woman’s confidence with the ability to reach an orgasm and the frequency she climaxes. For women who feel confident they will simply change up what they are doing so, they can climax. For women who lack confidence, they will do the opposite and give up.
In addition to feeling confident about having an orgasm, there is also the feeling about how comfortable they feel about their bodies. A study by Femfresh in the U.K. found about half of the 3000 women they surveyed preferred having sex under the influence of alcohol because it helped them lose their inhibitions and worries about their body appearance. One in six admitted they lacked the confidence to have sex with someone when they were sober.
If you have these feelings about your body, they will truly affect your ability to reach an orgasm. Addressing these insecurities will be your first step in having better sex. Remember that you are a beautiful woman and many times the insecurities that we have are because we are being too hard on ourselves.
One final item to help you climax more frequently knows what works for your body. In a recent study by Debra Herbenick, an associate director at Indiana University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion, women who felt positively about vibrators reported higher levels of sexual satisfaction. By taking some time by yourself and getting to know what works for your body, you will be able to communicate this to your partner. Products such as Alura Lux also increase vaginal sensitivity and lubrication, allowing women to orgasm more frequently. The use of products while having sex is recommended by most sex therapists because they bring the best of what science has to offer into the bedroom to improve your sexual experience.
So is there one secret to a female orgasm? Yes and that is knowledge. If you are a woman seeking your first orgasm or more consistent orgasms, that knowledge comes from knowing your body and how you can explore what works. If you are a guy educating yourself to ensure you are properly satisfying your woman, know her body. Be attentive to what and how she reacts, remembering that her body functions very differently than yours.
As always we appreciate all your comments and emails and don’t forget to share this information with your friends so they too can experience and enjoy their orgasms too.