Before understanding clitoral stimulation, you must understand anatomy. Understanding a woman’s anatomy and desires is vital in satisfying her emotionally and sexually. While most men understand foreplay is required to properly arouse a woman, they fall short in their technique. All too often men will start with simple foreplay then go direct for a woman’s clitoris to get her revved up and ready for sex.
The clitoris, however, is not an “on-button”, power switch or launch button. “You can’t just go for the gold,” says Rebecca Chalker, author of The Clitoral Truth. “You might short-circuit her body’s elaborate arousal process.” Understanding there is a process that cannot be rushed is the first step in properly arousing her. When the time does come to stimulate her clitoris, understanding the “how to” is what we have provided for you below.
Ease Into Clitoral Stimulation
The clitoris has over 8,000 nerve endings and is extremely sensitive. When a woman starts to become aroused, the clitoris becomes ultra-sensitive and stimulating the tip of the clitoris first may actually be too much. Just above the clitoral tip lies a short shaft – a genetic cousin to a man’s penis – which can be easily stimulated to warm her up.
To stimulate this inner shaft, during foreplay push down gently on her lower abdomen with outstretched fingers. Massage the skin on either side of her vagina in a scissor motion, causing the skin of her inner labia to caress the shaft.
Move to the Middle
After you have eased into clitoral stimulation, gradually tease inwards with your fingers. Never stimulate her clitoris directly without lubrication. The increased friction can cause overstimulation and cause the clitoris to become numb, thus losing sensation. Apply Alura Lux directly to her clitoris and her inner lips to ensure adequate vaginal lubrication is present for stimulation.
You can then position yourself between her legs and use the palm of your hand to cover her vulva, keeping your fingers stretched over her pubic mound. Then continue to tease and stimulate her clitoris gently with her lips.
Through the gentle and indirect stimulation of her clitoris, you will bring her closer and closer to an orgasm. As she approaches her orgasm, a symphony of muscles and ligaments will actually pull the clitoral tip back under the clitoral hood. When you see or feel this, this is a good thing and a sign she is close.
If she’s comfortable with direct stimulation now is the time, as it will push her over the edge and allow her to climax. Replace your palm with two fingers on the tip of her clitoris. “Once she’s fully aroused, she’s just as eager and hungry as you are,” says Susie Bright, editor of the Best American Erotica series. Start light and increase the pressure until you find her sweet spot.
As mentioned earlier, some women do not like, or cannot handle direct clitoral stimulation. If this is the case help her orgasm through stimulating her inner labia. To accomplish this use your fingers to stimulate the buried “legs” of her clitoris. They run up into her vaginal walls like a wishbone at 10 o’clock and 2 o’clock. “Just before orgasm, look for contractions around her vagina and lower abdomen,” says Debby Herbenick, Ph.D.
Combining All Moves Together
When a woman experiences an orgasm, blood flows freely through her tissues, increasing the sensitivity of her genitals even more than before. This helps make repeat orgasms easier to achieve.
Remembering this while you are having sex can help you to help her have multiple orgasms. There are many positions which can allow for both clitoral stimulations as well as g-spot stimulation. Experiment with positions both of you enjoy.