Female desire is not at the top of men’s need-to-know list, but it should be.
Ladies we all know men think about sex much more than we do. They are the ones who always looking, always talking, always bringing any topic we try to discuss with them back to sex. What if that’s not 100% true? What if we aren’t hardwired for monogamy as the stereotype suggests and there is more to just men wanting to have casual sex.
If you read the research we do, you will see there are studies showing our desires are painting a much more complicated picture than once thought. In his book What Do Women Want: Adventures in the Science of Female Desire, award-winning journalist Daniel Bergner highlights research that challenges these commonly held beliefs about a woman’s sex drive.
“This idea that women’s desire is less of a drive than male desire,” says Bergner, “I feel like that is a disservice to us all.” So Bergner talked to sexologists, primatologists, and real women to see if those long-held theories about female sexuality really tell the whole story. He found more than a few instances which flew in the face of common beliefs.
The manner in which women are turned-on to the age who initiates sex more, us or them, to what role our hormones really plan in our desire is all myths Bergner challenges. By challenging these myths with facts based on years of research helps all of us to see the truth behind our sex drive and ultimately how it plays into our relationships.
Myth 1: Monogamy is just “easier” for women than for men. Evolutionary psychologists have explained that men are programmed to spread their seed, while women are programmed to search for a supportive mate, says Bergner. But the original research didn’t have him convinced, and new studies by Meredith Chivers, PhD, assistant professor at Queens University in Canada, suggest that the female libido is much more complex than we thought. “When it comes to sex, monogamy may be at least as problematic for women as it is for men—maybe more so,” says Bergner.
In one survey that Bergner describes in his book, female desire drops off much more quickly than men’s after a couple has been together for a few years. But if women were “made” for monogamy, their desire would remain steady—or even increase—when in a committed relationship. “If evolutionary scientists are right, it should be very much the reverse,” says Bergner.
Continue reading the 5 Myths about Female Desire.
There is no question we are wired differently than men and knowing what we like is important, not just from a pleasure point of view but also from a state of mind. Learn the truth about our desires to increase the intimacy and connection in your relationship.
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